How Your Environment Shapes Your Success - Annette Farha

Your home can be beautiful and still quietly drain you. That tension is what we unpack with Annette Farha, an intuitive design coach and the author of Finding My Way Home, as we explore how interior design, breathwork, and simple Feng Shui-informed principles can shift the way you feel in your own space.

We start with the foundation: getting out of your head and into your body. Annette explains why breathing is not a “nice extra” but the fastest way to get clear on what you actually want, especially during life transitions like grief, divorce, empty nesting, remarriage, or a new career chapter. From there, we dig into practical tools you can use right away, including identifying your values, choosing a single “feel word” for your home, and noticing the instant signal your body gives you when you take the first step into a room.

We also talk about clutter in a more useful way. Annette’s “juicers and zappers” framework helps you spot the objects that energize you versus the ones that subtly pull you backward, even if the room looks tidy. We get real about budgets, remodel phases, and couple dynamics, plus how to make hard choices without losing the story and warmth that makes a house feel like home.

If you want a calmer nervous system, better flow, and a space that supports the life you’re building, you’ll take a lot from this conversation. Subscribe to iDesign Lab, share this with a friend who feels stuck at home, and leave a review telling us your feel word for the space you’re creating.

Transcript

Show Setup And Guest Introduction

Voice Over 0:00

This is iDesign Lab, a podcast where creativity and curiosity meet style and design. Curator of interiors, furnishings, and lifestyles. Hosted by Tiffany Woolley, an interior designer and a style enthusiast, along with her serial entrepreneur husband Scott. iDesign Lab is your ultimate design podcast, where we explore the rich and vibrant world of design and its constant evolution in style and trends. Today on the iDesign Lab, meet Annette Farha, intuitive design coach and author of Finding My Way Home, who reveals how your space can become your greatest advantage, shaping your clarity, confidence, and success from the inside out.

TIffany Woolley 0:45

Welcome to the iDesign Lab podcast. Today we are joined remotely from Kansas by Annette Farha, who is an intuitive designer. I'm excited to dive into this conversation and learn about her method. She's also an author. And welcome, Annette, to the iDesign Lab podcast. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. So welcome and tell our audience, introduce yourself.

Scott Woolley 1:16

Tell us a little about yourself.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

I'm Annette Farha, and I am an intuitive interior designer. And what that means is I took after 400 homes of being a realtor, a draftsman, an interior designer, and all of my healing and bodywork, I merged them together to be an intuitive designer so you can come home to you. Meaning using the elements of Feng Shui instead of having to learn Feng Shui, what if you just tapped into you and used what you know about nature and integrated that so that you can build a relationship with your space and your life can become easier and more free?

TIffany Woolley 1:57

I love that. I, you know, as Scott and I were doing some of our own research, I said it's it's kind of a more mindful feng shui. So what led you to this philosophy?

SPEAKER_03 2:12

Um really what accelerated it, what started it was I had one baby and then I couldn't have another baby. Okay. We had seven miscarriages. And along the way, I found Denise Len who wrote a book called Soul Coaching. My best friend was doing the edit for it, um, kind of on her trial. And so at that point in 2003, I started really getting into wow, if we listen and we understand Feng Shui, we really have all the answers. We're always looking out there when everything's really right here. So I got pregnant, had a baby, um, then I was in corporate at that point, and my marriage exploded. Oh, geez. So I found myself going from a corporate job with a secretary to basically living in my car with two little boys. And I started drafting houses. So um I realized really quickly I wasn't going to make a living that way. So I picked up a real estate license, build a real estate team. Um in the interim, I fell in love again. Um, and that gentleman, after 10 years together, got AML leukemia. Oh, wow. And so in my 30s dealing with uh cancer caregiving, I really started looking at how our body works. We spent a lot of time at MD Anderson, which is just an amazing hospital with international doctors and all the healing work I was doing, they really embraced because it had to do with our breath. So wherever our breath goes, oxygen goes. Yes. And when we come out of our heads and come down into our bodies, there's all this knowledge for us. We have to listen. We have to listen. And what I realized is so many of my clients in real estate, I was helping them design new homes, like a little, I've done 400 new homes, um, and change lives. But what they were really when they wanted a new home, they really wanted a new life.

TIffany Woolley 4:24

And what I make so much sense, actually.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

Yeah, and so what I was doing with them was like, take your shoes off, come stand in the grass, just come here with me, be here. And they were like, You are so weird. I'm in Kansas. So people were like, what is wrong with her? And I was like, I just need you to get out of your head and come here. Like, I just need you just to come here. So I just started helping them breathe and take their breath from up here in their chest, down to blow up a belly. You blow up your belly like it's a balloon, and then release all the oxygen and then release more. Hold that now. That's clean oxygen. And just that alone, how do you feel now? Clear. And from this place, now let's design your home. I love you see the difference.

Scott Woolley 5:13

So it's so it's almost starting like with your guru and and meditation, or is am I saying that correctly?

SPEAKER_03 5:19

Yeah, so I never used meditation, I never used Feng Shui because I'm in Kansas. I just used, hey, can we just slow down your breath? Right. So I did a lot of work with preschoolers and kindergartners because of my kids' trauma from the from the divorce. And I just used what I learned with them with a doll.

TIffany Woolley 5:36

Simplicity.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

Yeah, like let's not make it hard and take it down a notch.

TIffany Woolley 5:42

Life can be so hectic and there's so much noise.

Scott Woolley 5:46

You are just so when you're helping someone with the house, you're starting with that process, like you just said, before they actually walk in the house.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

Yeah, because we have to really get clear. So the thing I really worked with people on before, if you're a realtor, you do not want to show 20 houses and have them pick the first house you showed them. Like it's gonna be really a stressful life. Right. So I I needed to figure out quickly how to help them check into what they really wanted. So I would have a meeting before and we would talk about what do you value? What are your top values? If I gave you a magic wand, tell me your perfect life. Don't tell me about the house, tell me how you want to live. Do you see the difference? Definitely.

TIffany Woolley 6:32

And then we create No, so those same rules were applied to design, essentially.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

Right. Once you've done this 400 times and you see that it works and you can help people get to a feel, so we'd create a feel word. I want my home to feel inspiring. I want my home to feel warm, like a warm hug. I want my home to feel like the hub for everybody to come to, right? Like I love that so much.

TIffany Woolley 6:59

I do. I appreciate everything you just said because, you know, I often say with design and in this, you know, Instagram world of picture things looking like a certain way, all my projects are so authentically lived in with a feeling. You know, they're not all picture perfect, they are picture perfect, you know, aesthetics and presentations of the people who live inside.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

Yeah, I just think of a Dr. Seuss book, be the USU. Yeah. Like, why would we design magaz? I mean, it still looks magazine perfect, but it might still look like them.

TIffany Woolley 7:39

Right. A hundred percent. And in this world of like, you know, wanting to keep up or stay on a design trend, I feel like I'm constantly kind of pushing away from that as well, just to be more authentic and create a space that's truly a statement and a testament to your life well lived.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

That's why I was excited to be here with you is because of that authenticity and bringing it home. I feel like we live in a marketing world where it's like, hey, I've got the blue pill, I've got the answer. Yes. And I'm like, you know, I'm 52 years old, I've done over 400 projects. The answer's never been out there. It's always been helping them come inside and really feel into what would be so nourishing and helpful to them.

TIffany Woolley 8:25

It's so true. And as this design industry has evolved, I was just thinking, haven't you realized um that design used to be so much more like unobtainable? And now it's more obtainable, and good things are obtainable and the layers are more obtainable. And there are people like you, a coach, and you know, me and interior design as well as you, you know, that it's it's a more people have it at their fingertips, but they do need guidance.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

Yes. Um, and they need to learn to trust themselves, right? Yes, that's a huge part of the process. Right. Our favorite, my favorite clients are the ones that are like, oh, I love that. I hate that. Like because we can keep moving. The ones that are like, I don't know, I don't know, are like, okay, let's step back before we start picking things and let's get clear on what feels good to you. I love that.

TIffany Woolley 9:24

I mean, it really is a process.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

Yeah, and our homes, so what we do is so important because every morning you get up and you get dressed. And if it's winter, you put something on that makes sense for winter. If it's summer, you put something that makes sense for summer. And we never think about that. Our homes are the first thing our nervous system experiences in the morning, right? It's the last thing it experiences when it goes to bed, but we put more decisions into the clothes we wear than the place that's holding us.

TIffany Woolley 9:58

You're so right. And that is such a great point. And I often think of that even on a budgetary level. You know, some people are so hesitant. Why would I spend this much money on a sofa? I'm like, but you spend it on a handbag. You know, it's it's where is the value? And I feel like we need to value our home more because of exactly what you're explaining.

SPEAKER_03 10:20

Yeah, when you think of your kids or your husband who's sitting beside you, you work on that relationship, right? Yes. Like if you don't, your garden gets all weeds and it gets overgrown. So we are in relationship with our homes and our spaces, whether we want to be aware of it or not.

TIffany Woolley 10:39

You're you're totally, I mean, totally right. I mean, and I think of the process too, like even, you know, your clients, you do become a coach, whether you realize it or not. You're coaching them through this connection, this process, through the trust of letting you do what you do best. It really is, you know, some sort of uh intuition, I guess. It is intuition.

SPEAKER_03 11:03

And so I think that's the big shift that I'm excited about is yes, you may not know how to make a gallery wall. You might need a designer to help you with that. And you know what art makes you feel happy, right? Right. So when I can help them take their power back, I feel like it's such a growth because what works now may not work this summer. I might switch, I just switched a nut one thing out, right? Like I like it to move with my seasons, just like nature.

TIffany Woolley 11:38

Just like how we get dressed, and it helps things not be stagnant as well. You get inspired. It's almost like even when you clean out your closet in the summer or you know, once a year, you do feel inspired, like, oh, I want to be in that space because it feels so good.

Transitions, Grief, And Home Reset

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Right. So because I've lost a partner, what changed my life was cleaning my closet. So I always tell people that at the moment you say, goals are great, but you reach them and then you have to set another goal. Yes. When you set an intent, I intend. So when I've been three years after he'd passed away, I got to the place that I was like, I intend to step in and be the sage I want to be. And so when I look through my closet, all I had was black. Like I had just been trying to hide for so long. Oh, wow. I wasn't showing any of my magic, which I'm so colorful. All right. Um, and so that moment that I just got rid of a whole bunch of stuff and let it be empty and let my nervous system be okay with empty. Right. That was in a grief process was so um transformational. And so those are the clients I usually work with. They're in transition, they've lost someone, they are getting married, their kids have left, they're empty nesting, they're job changing. Those are the people that are like, my house doesn't fit the life I want to step into. And I don't even know exactly what I'm stepping into. I just know it doesn't fit.

TIffany Woolley 13:15

It's such a and so how do they find you? And how do they know they need that help? Or do you kind of even help them realize that that's the stage? I mean, I had a conversation with a friend this morning who's going through, you know, this empty nest process. I mean, it really is another form of grief and it and it is a life-changing time where it's a positive when you can place some of that energy in recreating your house or recreating your little foundational place. But back, how do they find you and find that that's where they are?

SPEAKER_03 13:53

So um 80% of my people come from referral. Wow. I have a website, a design discovery, and on there you can do my design diagnostic. So you can see, are you stuck or you need something that's free? You can do a spark session, which is just time with me, so I can help see what's most. I don't sell. This is what I tell people. Like a spark session, you come, I hand you a magic wand, and we make a shift, or I help you get the resources you need that are going to be most helpful for where you're looking to go. Okay. One of the people that came to a spark session was um, she had just started our new company and she's like, I have nine contracts out and nobody has sent them back. I was like, all right, they all verbally agreed, but nobody was replying. I was like, okay, well, let's look at your space. And there was a couch blocking the flow to her space, to where her desk was. And I was like, hey, just push that couch up against the wall. Okay, just open up flow with the intent, may all the abundance meant for me flow to me in perfect timing. That's it. Yeah. She's like, okay. So the next morning she emailed me back and was like, Hey, all nine contracts in this morning when I woke up. I was like, Yeah, you were just blocking yourself because she was scared, right? Like she has a new business, so it's so exciting to get the contracts, but you get the contracts and it's, you know, you got to do the work. And then you're like, oh no, I know I can do it, but I haven't done nine at once. So you had to work through that energy flow.

TIffany Woolley 15:27

Right. So when you say, so they come to you, they take this, you know, online exam. And is that what you use to gauge what you're gonna be leading them to?

SPEAKER_03 15:40

And then sometimes I mean they fill out a form for the Spark session, and sometimes it's shifted. Sometimes we get on the phone and it's nothing they thought. I'll ask a question because I can see energetically, and they'll be like, oh my gosh, that's the question I was scared to ask. I was like, okay, do you want to explore it? And it's always your choice if you want to come explore it or not.

Scott Woolley 16:00

But but it also it almost sounds like organization is a is a situation for people from what you're saying. Like clutter, does clutter like have an effect that you coming in and helping all the time?

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Clutter, yeah, clutter is always a challenge and it doesn't always look like clutter. So this morning I worked out with my trainer and she was like, My stomach is messed up. And I was like, She's very intuitive. So I do a thing called juicers and zappers.

Scott Woolley 16:30

Say that again. It's what what is it?

SPEAKER_03 16:32

It's called juicers and zappers. Okay. So think of something that juices your energy that you're like, yes. Maybe it's ice cream, maybe it's sun on your face. Like you're like, yes. Now feel how that feels in your body.

Scott Woolley 16:45

Like, oh right, right.

SPEAKER_03 16:47

Now think of a zapper. Maybe it's your mother-in-law yelling at you or something like that at all. Yeah. Um, and you're like, that has a different feel in your body, right? So now, if you're having she was having a stomach issue, I'm like, health is always the center of your home. So I said, take a box, go to the center of your home, just close your eyes and just feel all the objects and feel what feels like your juicer versus your zapper. Put any zappers in your box. And I said, You can leave it on the counter till your spouse gets home and you guys can go through it. And so she she texted me and she was like, Oh my God, I can't believe it. I had these candlesticks from my first marriage. I hate them. Why are they here? They're in the middle of my house. Like, I literally got rid of them and I feel so much better. I was like, okay, that was it. Done. But it wasn't like they were ugly or clutter, it was just something she hadn't thought about in a long time.

TIffany Woolley 17:43

That is one like so.

Scott Woolley 17:46

Did is how did you learn all of this? How did you come about a lot of this through the connect all of that? Because it all it all makes sense. But I think it's people don't think about this on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_03 18:01

I know.

Scott Woolley 18:01

Weekly or monthly or yearly.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Do you ever feel like the life you've led, the reason you do what you do, it's because of all the experiences of your life? Have you ever felt like that?

TIffany Woolley 18:13

Yeah, I mean, I would say Scott's pretty big into that. I mean, he lives a lot, like I would say, in continuation evolution of all your experiences.

Scott Woolley 18:24

Well, I've had so many, but because I've always wanted to go, whatever came to my mind, or someone told me about something, I wanted to go do it, experience, see it, and and accomplish it.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

Yeah, that's me. Well, I feel like there's some of that, right? Um, and there's these life things, like when you go from having a great corporate career, six digits, to living in your car and then rebuilding a whole, I built five companies and sold them, and then you lose your partner. And along the way, you know, seven miscarriages, along the way, you're looking for the skills in yourself, your toolbox, for how do you get to the next step? And then when you hit, all of a sudden you have all these tools in your toolbox, and you're like, wait a minute, how can I make this so simple? Like, I don't want to complicate it anymore. I've been doing this now for 20 years. So then you start making it so simple a preschooler can do it. Because we don't have time. Like if you say, I want to do one more thing, like you're like, okay, where is that gonna fit in my day, right? Right.

TIffany Woolley 19:28

I always say, I don't need one more thing to do. I don't need one more thing.

SPEAKER_03 19:31

So there's a book called The Atomic Habits, and he's like, All you gotta do is something 10 minutes and it's gonna move the needle. So, like, it's like, oh, I could do something for 10 minutes a day, right? Right. So that's kind of the whole series that I base on. So when I learned to meditate, I did it one minute a day for a year before I could even breathe.

TIffany Woolley 19:53

Like one minute. That's it. One minute for one year. One minute. And did you do it at the same time every day, every day for a year?

SPEAKER_03 20:01

Or I'm I'm a big dog person. So I had two dogs. So I'd walk my dogs to a tree, set my timer, and it was like that one minute was an hour. It was horrible. And I had to learn how to breathe. I was all thorax breathing, so I was adrenaline. So um that was during my divorce, and that was my only assignment. And by the end of the year, I was like, if I wrote a Christmas letter this year, I would say the only thing I accomplished is learning how to breathe. That was it. But at least you moved the needle. Right, but I knew the needle. And then the next year, like I learned to meditate. I learned, but I couldn't do that without doing the one foundational piece. Right, that one pivot. Yeah. And so I feel like instead of that's pretty much what my book, Finding Your Way Home, is about is like we make it hard when really we just gotta move the needle each day a little bit.

TIffany Woolley 20:55

So, how does somebody like the foundation? Like, explain your book, Finding Your Way Home, and how somebody can incorporate the principle of just moving the needle in their home. Is it like spent, you know, organizing for 10 minutes a day? Is it decluttering? Like, what is the founding principle? The first thing is to breathe. To breathe. So you keep going back to your breath.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

You do. You have to know that you're in your body. Yeah anything you do from your head is like the blue circle of death on your computer. Because your brain is here to keep you alive. So it's always gonna continue to do the things it knows. It may be good for you, it may not. It doesn't care, it's keeping you alive. So the first thing is you just have to breathe and be like, oh, can I feel my feet? Oh, or my shoulders down. Oh, okay. Pam here. Okay. There's seven exercises in it. One of them is know your values. What do you value most? You pick five, and then you have a then you have. Like a barometer of oh, is this important to me or not? Right. So there are super simple things that you just keep using and integrating so that you keep coming back to what's important to you and what matters most. And you can change any of them anytime, right? Right. You're in control of that. Yeah. And only you know when you start looking outside, going, Oh, I need a blue pill to silk fix this. Whoa, come back to the breath. To the breath. What's your most aligned next step? And don't worry about the whole staircase. We live in, do you remember? Were you familiar with Harry Potter world? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. So I feel like we live in a world where our staircases are always moving. So we're like, okay, we got to figure out the whole staircase to the top. And then we take three steps and our staircase moves. And we're like, wait a minute, no. Yes. So not that you don't want an end in mind, like, you know, but you don't want to be attached to it. You just want to be like, I took the next best step. Yes, me. And just those simple things.

Feel Function Flow For Real Projects

TIffany Woolley 23:05

So how does one like correlate that to the home? Because obviously, I feel like what you're saying is so important in every little aspect of our life. I mean, like when I say intuitive, like we intuitively eat, you intuitively exercise, your sleep, journal. I mean, every day in business, you intuitively make decisions. How do we, how is your process turning it back to the house, to the light?

SPEAKER_03 23:34

So how we do in our homes and in our lives is we feel, function, and flow. So at any point we're stuck in a feeling, then we need to move through that. And we might look at our house. Our house will give us love letters before our body. So there'll be a place you pile things. You'll see a pile collecting. For us, I know when my husband wants to talk to me, his connection corner in our bedroom piles full of crap because he knows when he talks to me, I'm gonna be like, okay, let's keep talking. And he just wants to talk and be done. So I'll be like, oh, our house is giving us this little nudge that we need to have a conversation. Um, you may get to a place like right now, I made this spring. This was like lots more um dark colors and kind of cuddle in colors. Moody. Because I I really hibernate in the winter and then I come back out. So you might feel like, oh, the house feels um, it feels heavy. I come home and I feel heavy. So I always tell people when you the first step you take into a room is the most important. And the reason it's most important is because you're determining how my body feels. Does it feel in alignment with how I want to feel, or is it out of alignment? I feel sticky, I feel like, ooh, I don't want to be in this room. That's at the moment you know that room needs a little love.

TIffany Woolley 24:56

So does that make sense? Yes, totally. And like, so for example, I have something I'm like thinking of as you're saying all this. Like, so if somebody buys a home and it's a lot, it's like it's kind of a money pit, but you see the potential and you're excited about living in this neighborhood, and you know, you've met nice friends, like there's so many positives, but the house is like needs an overwhelming amount of work. And obviously, life is busy, and you have to allocate money to you know, certain priorities, and you want to do the trip, and your child needs this music lesson. And how does how do you integrate your philosophy with not feeling so stuck, but also overwhelmed overwhelmed, but being able to obtain those like challenges that this house possesses.

SPEAKER_03 25:51

I just did this with a family in Dallas. They got 22 days back in their lives by moving closer to where the kids were in school and doing all their activities. Okay. But to do that and stay in their budget, we needed to do a house that we could remodel.

unknown 26:07

Right.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

We couldn't be ready. So we need to finish the garage. So what we're doing is what's most important to them is health. They were having all these health issues. So we looked at the middle of the house and made sure that the health part, which was the kitchen in this house, is exactly what they need. Then I was like, okay, that was easy because that actually had been remodeled. So I'm like, okay, that's good. Then their next big thing was making sure they had connection, family time, that everything, she's like, my kids are only going to be small for a short time. I don't want to miss this time. So then we looked at their family area, looking at the bagwa, and we focused on that area. So right now we have everything flowing. We need to remodel the laundry room and we need to redo the, we need to bring the bedroom, the garage, make that their master suite. Okay. So that's a big task. That's a big task. So we are in the process of getting all the remodel bids and seeing we kind of had a we already had a remodel to look at it before they bought the house. So we're in that process now, but we kind of had to step it up. So they I started working with them to sell their house back in July. They got into their new house in November, and now we're just now looking at the remodel part. So we just kind of do step by step based on what their priorities are, what they value most. Mm-hmm.

Scott Woolley 27:30

Because I I can't it's really a totally different philosophy from designing, remodeling a house than what we go through.

TIffany Woolley 27:39

I think well, and uh, um it's funny because as I'm listening and hearing and even engaging in this conversation, I I'm like thinking of so many clients and little things I'm dealing with myself. So, for example, yesterday I went and met with a possible new client, and they have great taste, they have beautiful pieces, and they merged, you know, this was their second home that they came for a vacation, which has now become their main home. So two different style houses are now merged together, and they are so like stuck, all like they had a space, and it's and it's kind of funny because I kept saying, you know, you have great pieces, and you've been looking at it for so long, and you realize what you've lived with. And it's funny because they actually had called me a year ago, and now they're calling again, and they're just like, we haven't done anything, and we're just not enjoying this space and this house, and we need help. So it's so interesting that we're having this conversation today because I said it's kind of like I a kaleidoscope in a way. I take my process is still the same. I take all your pieces. Obviously, this floor plan is what it is, and now we're gonna like reimagine it to breathe new life into it.

SPEAKER_03 29:02

Yeah, yes. And what you're noticing is they say they want something new, but they want something new by staying in their certain place of what they know. Right, right. And so it's this gap that you're like, so one of the things I found to be most helpful and makes people absolutely insane is we are gonna take out this is when I do the juicers and zappers. Uh-huh. Like anything that isn't I love and perfect, we are just gonna remove. I use the pods in the driveway. That's it. And they're like, but it's my stuff. I'm like, I get it, but we just have to open up space and flow so you can see it in a new way. So I call up the time capsule and I put it in there for two weeks, and then I come back with this space with much more openness with only what they love. And I'm like, okay, now what did you miss? What are you like? Oh, I can't wait to get back out of my time capsule. I know it sounds strange, but it's the nervous system, it's our bodies trying to keep us alive and safe. And so we have to work with it instead of against it. Is kind of the what I'm noticing for people.

TIffany Woolley 30:15

Right. And so when you get, how do you get them to that place where they're ready for a pod in the driveway? I mean, and you know, like what does that process look like? Yes.

SPEAKER_03 30:27

This gap, you have to really make them uncomfortable. Like you talked to me a year ago, you called me back. What is the pain? Right. So if you stay like this for another year, what will your life look like? Right. I don't think it's a good idea. Now, if you have and make them write it down. Like I take and make a tea chart on my piece of paper. Like, here's what it's like if we stay where we are. Tell me all the things. And I just keep writing them down. Then I'm like, okay, now let's imagine. Let's imagine this house that feels so like you. What do you want it to feel like? And I talk through that, they give me their feel word. Like, okay, oh, I can feel it. Can you feel that? I make sure they can feel it. Then I'm like, okay, in this house, tell me what your life is like. And then I make that list. And then I show them the list and I'm like, which would you like to have next year? It's your choice.

TIffany Woolley 31:20

Right.

SPEAKER_03 31:21

It's true. And they have to commit. So are you committed? Is this vision of what you could have so good that you're gonna commit to the pain it's gonna take to get there? The pain is short, right? But it's there's gonna be pain. I don't have the magic wand of this is just a little bit.

TIffany Woolley 31:39

Do you discuss budget needs and all of that too? I mean, how does that like cause a feeling like you don't want you can't put a cost on a the you know that freedom?

SPEAKER_03 31:50

So I don't talk about I don't talk about a budget till we're clear on what they want.

TIffany Woolley 31:54

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

Now, when we're clear on what they want and if they want to commit to that, then I'm like, okay, what would be your perfect budget? Okay, what's your maximum budget?

SPEAKER_04 32:07

Right.

Scott Woolley 32:08

Right.

SPEAKER_03 32:10

Uh right. Yeah. And then I'm like and then I'm like, okay, so for your perfect budget, we are only going to be able to let some things go. That's all we can probably afford at this point. Because you guys are struggling with that hard. So do you want to dig deeper and figure out why you're struggling? Because you say you want something, but you're keeping yourself where you were, and that's painful. So, how do we want to how do we want to spend our resources? Because usually they give me an ideal budget that's totally unrealistic.

Budgets, Couples, And Hard Choices

Scott Woolley 32:39

So I I have a question I have to ask. And I I ask it because of clients that come into uh you know our uh uh uh business. Husband and wife comes in. You must have some couples that the wife or the husband is very in tune and loving and hearing and what you're saying, but then one of them really doesn't really care about the feeling and so forth, and it's just dollars and cents, and this is what I like and this is what I want, and I don't care. Do you have that? How do you deal with it?

SPEAKER_03 33:11

Oh, yeah, all the time. Um, I call that designing for the sexes. So um, usually the one that's all about numbers, they're there because they want to make their spouse happy.

Scott Woolley 33:21

Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:22

So how I approach it is I'm very budget oriented. So when I did all new construction, um I actually had a program that was like Amazon where you put stuff in your cart and you decided how much your house cost. So I developed a system like that so that you had all the control on the cost of your house. So I'm very budget contribution.

Scott Woolley 33:44

Wait, explain that again. I I don't quite understand what you meant by that by putting it into what are you putting into the cart?

SPEAKER_03 33:49

Like a second floor goes in the cart or yeah. So I would design a floor plan, I draft the plan, and then I would create all the flooring options. Like, do you want real wood? Do you want shared wood? You know, like whatever you want, you just type in the square footage and it would tell you for this house how much it would cost. And so when you type everything in, they would be like, Oh, I don't want an$800,000 house, I want a$600,000 house. I'd be like, Okay, here's your choices. But they got to choose, so they got to control it. Does that make sense? Yes, yep, yep. And people like to feel like they have control.

Scott Woolley 34:22

Absolutely, they do.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

Right. So, what I usually tell my budget person is tell me your budget. Tell me um if I could guarantee I will make your budget, whatever it is. Are you willing to come with me on this journey so your spouse can be complete and feel in love and create the space they want. And usually the budget person is like, You promise you won't go over budget. I'm like, I promise. If I go over budget, you get the choice. They're like, Okay, do I have to come to these meetings? I'm like, that's your spouse's choice. Right? Like, if you guys want to silo this and you're okay with that, great. If she feels like she wants you involved, then we'll let's figure out how you're involved.

TIffany Woolley 35:07

Well, I have the project in a situation, you know. I mean, I love what I do, and I do feel like we do play therapist in some realm. So it I I kind of understand how you got to this place because there is a lot of personality we're dealing with. There is a lot of um what uh what's the word? Like what people are expectations you're dealing with. And, you know, in South Florida, there is a lot of new construction and there is a lot of, you know, these houses are large and dense, so it takes a lot of things to feel, or layers, not necessarily things, but layers, to feel warm, to feel put together, to feel like you've actually spent money because sometimes you can spend so much money and feel like, oh my God, this house is still empty. So my biggest challenge and my goal is to spread a budget, you know, as far as I can to make that house feel like it's a home and somebody's enjoying it and happy with it. I've recently had a situation where the budget was so intent and, you know, the house scale really wasn't doable within the budget to get the the vibe and the feeling and the aesthetic that the wife was looking for. So we've had to like navigate where we would, you know, take our proposals and dissect it enough to make the budget work, but then the wife didn't like what she was left with. So it's like a it was like a vicious cycle that I almost felt like you can't win. And then it's kind of beyond the design.

SPEAKER_03 36:56

So I that's where I'm at. I have one of those right now too. So I did what the wife wanted, and then what the husband's budget was. And um, I said, so these are the differences. So what where do you want to be? Do you want to leave? I actually said, do you want to leave some rooms, just nothing in them? So you can get the written space you want. Right. Like these are choices. I'm not telling you to pick a different budget. I'm telling you that for this budget, if we want the family, you know, the master suite and the living room, kitchen, dining area to be what the wife wants, literally, we're gonna put nothing in the other rooms.

TIffany Woolley 37:35

Right. And we did have that conversation as well. Like we have to be realistic.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

Yeah. So I mean, and a lot of times people don't understand what things cost today. No, not at all.

TIffany Woolley 37:48

Or the process of how they cost. It's not just the base cost. There is a cost to doing business, and there's a cost to get it here, and there's a cost to deliver it and install it. And there's layers to that cost, and it does have value, you know, like it really does, you know, finish the process to get you happy.

SPEAKER_03 38:12

Well, it's like, do you want to walk around naked or do you want to show your best foot forward? How do you want to show up for your interview for life? Right?

TIffany Woolley 38:22

Yeah, yeah, you're right. I think that's a bit of it.

SPEAKER_03 38:26

I mean, if you're brave enough to show up naked, good for you. I don't have that bravery.

TIffany Woolley 38:31

So I totally hear what you're saying. Yeah, it is. And and I, and that's kind of the conversation that my team and I do have. Like, you know, don't you want, and not that you care what people think, but it is a reflection of how you feel and then how you live. It's like, I mean, don't you want people to realize that you can see this through? And like when you're entertaining and at this, you know, you feel proud instead of embarrassed. It's, you know, there's a there's there is a madness to that.

SPEAKER_03 39:05

Well, I also, so I also did commercial real estate. So I also do the math. So I love math. I know it sounds crazy. So I have a spreadsheet for everything, but I also do the math for how much did you spend on your home? So this is the framework, right? These are your bones. So you spent this much on the bones of you. And how much, so when you're looking at the budget you're doing for your interior design, does it make sense? Right.

TIffany Woolley 39:32

And that's typically how I approach a job. Yes, like what your investment is. You don't want to obviously overprice yourself, but you also don't want to undervalue.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

Right. And then, and then I'm like, if we're running into, you know, issues with budget, I'm like, how much, how often do we use every space? There's, you know, like so. Then I start doing percent to totals. Like we spend 50% of our time here, right? Like, oh, that room's only five percent. That'll be one we don't do. Oh my god. So I do fun things like that. Like, I I'm not telling you to pick a different budget. I'm telling you, you're gonna have harder choices with the budget you chose. Right.

TIffany Woolley 40:13

And to be mindful of that. I feel like we live in an area and in a time where there is so much on, you know, what everybody else is doing. So, like when you're sitting there with like the family from Dallas and you know, they're there or Texas, they're in a stage of, you know, probably wanting to have it all done, but it's not all done. So, how like are they looking for coaching on how to get through that timing? You know, like I feel like Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:47

So that yeah, so it's very funny because I got them all moved, I got the plan to the like I got everything with their a contractor. So everything was set up. So we completed at the end of February. And I was like, let me know if you need anything. And I just had a call with her yesterday. She's like, I need to hire you back. I can't emotionally do this without you. I was like, okay, right? Like, you got it. Um, so I always make it so that it's their choice and they're coming back, and then we create our contract and how we want to work going forward. Um, because she's like, I have a lot of tools and here's all the things I've changed. And integration is harder than I thought. Like, I know how to do it, and you've been doing it with me. And I thought without you, I could just keep doing it, but I don't have everything as solid as I want it. So, but I always try to leave my people with a whole bunch of living tools that went along with their remodel so that they live their life differently after me than they did before me. Believing it better. That's my hope. Yeah, for sure. And I teach them to play. Like, if we can't get all the layers we want, how are you gonna play and add layers when I leave? You know, how do you know? How do you do original art? Go to, you know, First Friday art events and um get original art from up-and-coming artists, you know, how do you create a really expressive, energetic place in the most cost-effective, fun way for you? Right.

TIffany Woolley 42:18

So are you picking items? Are you picking their floor with them? Are you curating bathrooms and are you actually still designing or coaching mainly?

SPEAKER_03 42:29

Um, so I do the blueprint. I love space planning. So I always do blueprints with 3D renderings, all of that. And then um, I it depends if they want me to pick products with them now because now because we have Instagram and tech talk, everybody thinks they're a designer. So a lot of time. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of times they're like, let's do a design board together. Here's my plans. I know exactly what I need. And they go do it and have me be on, like I call it designer in your pocket, where they check in with me and be like, okay, here's what I'm putting together. What do you think? So sometimes we'll do it that way. Sometimes they'll want me for the whole process, but it's really up to them how they want to do it and how is what's most supportive for them as long as they keep checking in. My big thing is like, if you're not gonna do if you're gonna do it without me, you're going to places that are gonna try to convince you of things. Are you solid enough to be clear with your design board and who you are to stay true to you?

TIffany Woolley 43:24

Yeah, if you are good. So true.

SPEAKER_03 43:27

If you're gonna let yourself be sold, whoa, we're gonna have a budget problem. You're not gonna like the end. So that's kind of where I talk to them. Like, let's figure out what's most helpful for you.

TIffany Woolley 43:39

And are you finding that most of your client and your work are they remote or are they in town and you're very hands on?

SPEAKER_03 43:48

Well, so I got remarried three years ago and moved. Congratulations. Yeah, thanks. So it's been remote a lot. Um, I'd say I've been about Yeah, probably 80% remote. But I've started working with some builders and remodelers now. Okay. So I'm going back to 50-50. I like my world to be 50-50, but it I go with whatever my life, what's in my life at the moment.

Scott Woolley 44:15

So when you're doing remote, you're you're basically on Zoom with clients and email and phone?

SPEAKER_03 44:20

I'm on Zoom and email. They almost all of them I always go on site at least once or twice, but I'm not with them every meeting on site.

Scott Woolley 44:30

Hmm. Interesting.

TIffany Woolley 44:32

So you mentioned you just got remarried and obviously you've gone through a reinvention of your own. How did your own space teach you more about intuitive design with this new phase?

SPEAKER_03 44:48

Well, in my divorce, I um designed and drafted my own home. So I became a realtor in 2009 in the worst financial time in the world. That was a bad market. Uh-huh. Bad market. I convinced a subdivision that was going under to let me um build a house. And if I could sell three lots, they'd give me this construction loan. So I built my own house. So I've yeah, so I've always lived in my own houses my way. So then I marry a finance guy, move to a different city, and he has a 1963 house that was built by an engineer. Um, one owner besides him, he bought it in 2017, and he was so proud because it was all beige and wood floors, and he probably done a good job. And I'm all about color. So I was like, okay, so this house has taught me a lot because I believe every house has a story, and you have to, you're creating a relationship with the home that was built on land that has a relationship. And of course. So this house has been weird because, like, the room I'm in, I keep wanting to add like more earth elements. And so I I added like this clay pot because I really want to ground in. I have a lot of fire, and they'll just break in the middle of the night. So, like, this house is very weird, it has its own mind. So I've had to learn how to work with it and listen. And my husband is completely different than me. So he doesn't understand this listen. He's the guy that's like, just tell me the budget and make sure it's not very good. And so I was like, I did all these decamolds myself. He didn't have any saws, he'd never done construction. I was like, what are you talking about? So it's been an adventure, but I'm figuring it out.

TIffany Woolley 46:38

That is so cute. I do love all the color and everything like that. How was in color bringing color into his life? Was that a positive and something he embraced? He doesn't embrace change, right?

SPEAKER_03 46:52

So, and so he didn't want to get rid of any of his stuff. So we were combining two households, right? But I was moving my whole life here and he didn't want to get rid of any of his things. And I was like, dude, like, like that's not really gonna work. Like, so we kind of uh this is my room, but this is like my old dining room table, it's a big quartz top I put on a coffee table. So I really had to reinvent my pieces, and I had to really help him get let go of things, and what I really got clear with him because he has uh Syrian and Lebanese heritage, uh-huh, there's a lot in his heritage line of being refugees. Wow, so there's this scarcity, yeah. So because his grandma came here as a refugee, that's not that far from him, right? And so it's much closer than my family, who's been here a lot longer and didn't come for the same reasons. So I've really had to um help. His dad's been great, he's 89, his aunt is just like him, so it's really interesting. So it's been interesting to help heal that, like understand like how do you go from scarcity to abundance? You don't let things go if you don't think there'll be enough. And in a world right now where we're hearing words about recessions and things like that, scarcity will come up for all of us, right? This uncertainty, like, will there be enough? What's gonna happen? And that's usually when scarcity comes in. So that's when I I think of your client that's trying to move forward and make the home they want, but then they don't want to let anything go. I'm like, oh, like, you know, that's kind of how the world feels at the moment. So what is certain for them? Are they certain they want a different outcome? Maybe they're not certain, right? Like, and once you give people the choice, they're like, well, of course I want a different outcome. Okay, are you willing to do the work for that outcome? Which means a re you know, redesign.

Scott Woolley 48:56

So there's probably a lot of people who are listening to and watching this podcast who are unhappy with the energy or the feeling in a room or multiple rooms in their house at this moment. What challenge or 24-hour challenge would you give them for their room or their house?

SPEAKER_03 49:16

I would tell them the first thing they want to do is figure out their energies, juicers and zappers. If they don't love it, put it in a box. I'm not telling you you have to get rid of it this minute, but put it in a box, put it in your trunk, your garage, your basement, get rid of it out of that room. Let it breathe. Meaning open the doors, open the windows, get airflow in, even light a candle, right? Fire as an activator. Um and then just kind of set with it for a minute, like leave it for an hour or two, and come back after the windows have been open, you've lit a candle, like you've let things flow. And then really ask, what is it I want this room to do for me? What's the function and how do I want it to feel? And when you get really clear on like if it was this room, I want this room to function as an office and a gathering space. I want this room to feel inspiring. So now anything that's not inspiring, it's not about gathering or being productive. It has to go, right? It gets a lot easier. So now put more in the box. Now I'll go leave again, come back an hour later and go, okay, so now what do I want to add that would make me so inspired? Get me excited. Now you add in like that. So that's usually how I work with people because you can't, if there's some, it's kind of like if you ever had were dating all the wrong people, if you're with the wrong person, the right person can't find you, right?

TIffany Woolley 50:48

Right, right, right. Good vlog, good, good analogy.

SPEAKER_03 50:52

So it's like that in design. It's kind of like when you're on a diet and they're like, if you like something crunchy, celery instead of the chips. It's like that. Like you got that quick. You gotta have a set.

Scott Woolley 51:01

So you're you're explaining that, and I'm thinking to myself, in our house, Tiffany, there are four things in our living room that need to go in the garage, or they won't fit in the box.

SPEAKER_03 51:13

But I think Yeah, what do you do when things don't fit in a box? That's when you have to have the pot outside, or you put it in the garage, or you move it to the room. You just have to move it out of the room. You honestly can't see what you can't see when something's in the space. I colour. If that makes sense.

Scott Woolley 51:29

I'll tell you a little story. Two two weeks ago, we went and visited a friend of ours, and we were my wife and I and our three kids, we were so excited to go see her home because it's 522 years old. And we went to this home, and we were just, you know, Tiffany, like like you have said, Tiffany's probably done over 400 or so homes herself in the 25 years, so many. But the feeling walking into that house, it wasn't a big house, it was a small cottage. But walking through it, realizing and feeling that 522 years ago this house was was made. That's twice as old as the United States is. It was before I think Christopher Columbus discovered America, the house was built.

SPEAKER_03 52:14

I know, I was like, this was in America? No, no, no, it's in London, it's in England.

Scott Woolley 52:19

Okay, that makes more sense. And the feeling in the house, we were all, we sat down and she gave us some candy and some things that she had made, but just the feeling of sitting in the house because of the age and looking at it was an amazing kind of. We were all like dumbfounded but excited about being in this house and and the feeling in it.

SPEAKER_03 52:43

Europe is so amazing like that. I I had that same experience in Europe getting to go into the homes. They have so much history. Right.

TIffany Woolley 52:51

Right. And I and I have such an appreciation for it. And I and I love bringing that, you know, mentality to our projects as well. Of not, I mean, I'm actually more about adding and changing things around. Obviously, getting rid of things that are not serving you makes perfect sense. Yes. But I I definitely love the things that, you know, tell a story. And I feel like those are important not to lose. And sometimes here in the United States, especially South Florida, with some of these super modern track home style, you lose sight of all that detail. And sometimes, you know Detail. The detail is crown molding. Yeah, is very special. Those layers are special.

Scott Woolley 53:41

What's interesting is that it's interesting is that I know that Tiffany, for some clients, a few clients I've seen over the years, has hired or the client has hired organizers to help. And they come in, and I've been there once or twice, or maybe three times, where these organizers are coming in. And in no way are they using the philosophies and the and the and them and what you're talking about, which would make so much sense.

SPEAKER_03 54:08

Yeah, I so I'm with you.

TIffany Woolley 54:10

I like more things, I like maximumist, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 54:17

Yeah, but I want everything. I also think in that world, I have to be more um intentional. I have to cultivate better.

TIffany Woolley 54:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:25

Meaning, um, the little gold frame you see up there, that was something that I got from my father-in-law. So I was like, oh, I really love this and I want it to go up. So it has to go in a place. And I was like, what's one thing that feels like it's had its time? So I took that down and I sent it to a friend that I knew loved it, right? So I still feel like I try to not, I don't want anything in a closet not getting seen or loved. Does that make sense?

TIffany Woolley 54:53

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 54:55

I'm fine with our winter stuff being in the closets. I'm fine with, you know, it's seasonal, it's gonna come out again, but something I don't use in a whole year, I feel like I misused it. Like somebody's gonna love it. Why am I hiding it?

TIffany Woolley 55:07

Right. Makes perfect sense. Perfect sense. How do you get people to recognize clutter versus, you know, like I'm talking about piles of mail, piles of stuff that just needs to go?

SPEAKER_03 55:25

My hardest is when they have um attention deficit of any kind. Uh-huh. So if you have any neurodivergencies, yes, odds that a horizontal surface is full of stuff is yeah. So that's so interesting. So I there um I tend to have quite a few of those clients, and I I want to help them get things vertical and not have horizontal surfaces they can set things on too much. I try to make the horizontal surfaces smaller, you know, like I'm trying to help them because their brain thinks, oh, there's a surface, just put it on it. Like their brain can't go three steps forward, it's how they're made. Uh-huh. So then I try to create vertical type of things that can still look artistic, but it has to be clear because if I make a beautiful basket and they can't see in it, they won't. It just does the same thing the horizontal did. So it's really helping people understand how their brain works, how do they need their home to work, and how do we figure this out together? And it's trial and error. We got to play with it. Let's play with this, let's play with that. How did that work? Okay.

TIffany Woolley 56:42

Oh, well, that's really, really fun. I think what you're bringing up to light about this intuitive design is really such an important philosophy that I think some of us are doing, but not even recognizing we're doing. So I appreciate this conversation so much, highlighting like we need to be intentional with everything. And our home is our foundation a lot of the times.

Scott Woolley 57:10

So for people who are listening and watching the podcast, how do they find your book?

SPEAKER_03 57:16

Um, they can go to Amazon. It's on Amazon, finding my way home. They can also go to my website, adesigndiscovery.com, and it's also there.

TIffany Woolley 57:27

And are you I I know you're on Instagram. So do you want to share Instagram and any other possible ways that people can follow you?

SPEAKER_03 57:36

Yep, I'm on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram as Annette Farha, so I'm pretty easy to find.

TIffany Woolley 57:43

Well, thank you so much for joining us today on iDesign Lab. We really appreciate this conversation. I was very enlightened. And I love looking at your beautiful, colorful background. It makes me feel inspired. So I hope you feel inspired too.

SPEAKER_03 58:03

Thank you so much. This is a great conversation. I really appreciate you having me.

Scott Woolley 58:07

Thank you for joining us.

SPEAKER_03 58:09

Have a great day.

Voice Over 58:11

You too. iDesign Labs Podcast is an SW Group production in association with the Five Star and TW Interiors. To learn more about iDesign Lab or TW Interiors, please visit TWInteriors.com.